One Too Many Mornings
by Calico Yorki
Summary: "You are right from your side,/and I am right from mine./We're both just one too many mornings,/and a thousand miles behind." - Bob Dylan / This will be a collection of arcing plots and drabbles involving Negative Man and the struggle to care.
1. Chapter One: Snow, First Part

It was a nice, breezy day. Of course, when you're in the stony, bone-dry deserts of Antartica, where the cold numbs your soul, a 'breezy' day amounts to sickles of the Grim Reaper forged from the cold of Satan's throne in the lowest circle of Hell ripping through your body and causing your nuts to shrink to the size of cashews. If anyone could even manage to fight their way back to the coastline, they'd have had to have been masochistic enough to sail through the psychotic waves of the Southern Sea and plain batshit insane enough to want to sail out the way they got in. Oh, by the way, that sea surrounds Antartica on _every. Motherfucking. Side._

Naturally, since Negative Man was effectively a cross between a mummy and a nuclear reactor, and filled with enough cynicism to sometimes make even Elasti-Girl throw her hands up and storm off on him, he had a decidedly serious case of _Cannot Give A Fuck_. He simply did not have the fucks to give. If he had one fuck to give, he would bestow it upon his true love instead of a wedding ring. Of course, then he wouldn't be able to give a fuck about her, and their marriage would be doomed. A week later, he'd be crashed on a friend's couch somewhere, bitching at them about how it was too hot if it was in Moosejaw and too cold if it was in Death Valley, just to piss them off and see if they'd throw him out. But, we're getting ahead of ourselves. Right now, he was stuck in Antartica with probably the two members of the Teen Titans he was absolutely least suited to supervising.

Right now, Kole was wearing just a heavy snowsuit and a scarf, periodically tugging the scarf down past the edge of her hood to blow out a puff of frigid vapors and giggle. Her cheeks were pinkening from the cold, but otherwise, she was doing just fine. Meanwhile, Gnaark was climbing up a rock formation to look over the area, grunting and hooting. Little did he know that Antartica was about the same every-damn-where. Ice, snow, penguin, rock, ice, snow, penguin, rock, ice, snow, penguin, ungodly abominations from beyond the stars thirsting to undo the tapestry of creation, rock, ice, snow, penguin. Well, Negative Man had read books about the last part, at least. He seemed to recall. What the fuck? It wasn't as if he'd be too torn up to see the Earth being chewed to bits by squirmy tentacle deities. Despite how mankind had done such a _crackerjack job_ of taking care of their own planet, of course. Besides, Larry Trainor was just enough of a sick fuck that he wouldn't mind seeing a few girls at the tender mercies of wiggly jiggly tendrils in the last moments of existence.

And now Kole was tugging on Negative Man's arm. Good God, he couldn't even contemplate the naughty tentacle apocalypse without being pestered by stupid kids. Ah, well. "Yeah? What do you want?" He looked down at her. Kole looked hurt for a few moments, and to Negative Man's irritation, he could feel a twinge of regret in his chest. She just pointed over at Gnaark and walked away to sit atop a small, windsmoothed boulder. _Great,_ Negative Man thought to himself. _Now the only intelligible human on this continent hates me. And considering how the caveman's probably rogering her, it looks like even the unintelligible human is against me._ "Isn't this all just fan-tucking-fastic," he muttered to himself. Walking over to stand below the stone formation Gnaark had climbed up, Negative Man tiredly raised his binoculars and peered into the far distance. Despite really having no reason to be, he felt incredibly drained.

Over the years, Negative Man knew he wasn't going to die normally, but could feel particular God-awful sensations of age. Specifically, he was getting tired easily, and for longer. It felt like he didn't have any purpose at all, sometimes. Especially when he hit a close call with using his powers and getting back to his body in time. He sometimes seriously hoped he wouldn't have to live too long - He knew that eventually his radiation would dissipate and he'd effectively die like a normal person. What bothered him was whether he'd even like it in Heaven. If anyone would be enough of a soulless prick to not feel the utmost joy at the Pearly Gates, it would be him. Plus, all of those moments staring at Raven's backside when her cape wasn't obscuring it were going to be certain to come up when God was reviewing Negative Man's life. That wouldn't reflect well on his admittance chances. And then there was the whole thing in college between him and Splash, the female heroine who could turn into water. You've never heard of Splash? Exactly. Negative Man still woke up some nights, screaming. She just Splashed too big, and the dirt was just too absorbant that day.

Regardless, he could finally see what Gnaark had spotted. A huge shape, apparently covered in a fur coat, lumbering towards the group. "You can't be serious. You have to be shitting me." He zoomed his binoculars in, further and further, until the image became clear. "Oh, fuck my life." He lowered his binoculars and shouted up at Gnaark, "You, Gnaark. Gnaark grab Kole. Kole turn into crystal. Gnaark beat up bad guys. Ugga ugga-beat up bad guys-ugga." Gnaark glared down at him. "Just do it, seriously. Each and every one of those guys are a few hundred pounds of Satan, and they're taking us on the express railway to A Major Asskicking." Already having leapt clear from his perch, Gnaark lumbered over to Kole, grunting and grumbling.

Negative Man turned to look back at the approaching enemy. Yep. There were still twenty-odd gorillas, armed to the razor-sharp teeth, charging across the windy wastelands towards them. Crap in a bucket this wasn't going to be pretty. Ducking behind the rock, Negative Man gestured to Gnaark - Already holding Kole as a club. Hand helt flat, Negative Man motioned for Gnaark to duck behind a boulder. Gnaark narrowed his eyes and snorted a couple of times, before complying. Listening carefully, Negative Man waited. He was going to have fun with this. And he knew the perfect thing to say to make it sweeter.

At last, the huge, gun-toting apes were close enough. "Titaaans, Gooo." Forcing down a snicker, Negative Man's duplicate shot out of his back, clear through the rock, and swept through the laser rifles of the enemy front lines. That took care of half of their guns, causing them to explode and detonate the bangoliers of charge-rounds, sending the leading ten toppling back into their comrades. Immediately, Gnaark descended upon them, beating them senseless with Kole's club form. In the meantime, Negative Man's duplicate swiftly flew by, grabbing rifles and crushing them into exploding until the last of the guns were obliderated.

Wasting no time, Negative Man's double reunited with his body, and he took a deep, quiet breath in that moment. Quickly getting to his feet, he loped out to survey the situation. Yes, those were some trashed gorillas. While Negative Man preferred not to work with any of the Titans than his adorkable former teammate Garfield, he had to give it to them: Some of these kids knew how to seriously wreck a villain's shit.

As Kole returned to normal, she took out her communicator. "We're near the designated location, and it's...0600," she said, pausing to read the time on her device. "The enemy knows we're here, but their first wave were easy to beat. Expect us to report in with more info shortly. Kole out." Turning the device off, she made a point of ignoring Negative Man.

From even his scant interactions with this girl, Negative Man knew she'd forgive him. How long that took, _that_ was the question. Considering what a little goody-goody two-shoes she at least seemed to be from previous experience, he probably didn't have to worry.

Soon, they were moving forward again. Negative Man felt so, so tired. He really needed to get more sleep. Loathe as he was to admit it, Elasti-Girl was right - Even he needed sleep.

_Just one too many mornings behind, I suppose,_ he mused to himself.

Forcing down a yawn, he managed to keep in the lead.


	2. Chapter Two: Snow, Middle Part 1

Soon, Negative Man, Kole, and Gnaark had made an impressive trek across the icy, deathly dry desert in relatively little time. A good part of it had to do with that the former's radioactive body was hardly bothered by the cold, and actually was almost stabilized, if made a bit weary by it. Just as much of it had to do with the time in a frigid cold climate that Kole and Gnaark had spent during their lives. Each of them had to admit, the selection of who to go into this harsh, unforgiving land on such a mission was all too prudent. Kole and Gnaark found the normally lethal cold all too familiar, while Negative Man had less issue with that same cold and the parched surroundings; their supplies were going a long way, and there would probably be some left over by mission's end. Thus, no one was all too bothered by the Antarctic climate once they'd gotten used to it.

What Kole and Gnaark were bothered by was Negative Man. Between his needless complaints about the cold and his sarcastic humor, just about dryer than the Antarctic desert, it was a miracle neither of them had gone for his throat yet. "Did you know," he droned, "That those prank jars of nuts and crap with the jumping snake inside are really old? Invented in 1910? Yeah, they were invented by the same guy who made sneezing powder and the Joy Buzzer. I think the story goes that he first made one to prank his wife because she kept complaining over the jam jar for something." He turned to look at Kole. "What about you guys? You ever pranked each other? I'm sure it'd be great for keeping your relationship alive." Kole was tempted to blow up and tell him off, to tell him that Gnaark was like a big brother to her, to tell him that Jericho was her boyfriend. But she kept her mouth shut and kept her eyes focused ahead. She knew if she overreacted, Gnaark would overreact, and no matter how strong he was and whether or not Negative Man was as 'good' as being a member of the Doom Patrol suggested, Kole didn't want to see how ugly a fight between them would turn. So, she kept staring straight ahead and only occasionally spoke to Gnaark.

Gnaark, meanwhile, didn't fully grasp all of the jokes Negative Man was making, but had a feeling they were making Kole upset. He wanted to go after Negative Man and put a few hits around the bandaged-up man's head. He wanted to roar and batter the older superhero, to make his chatter stop so that he'd just focus on the mission and stop unnecessarily running his mouth. But Gnaark knew that Negative Man had dangerous powers, and knew that if he forced Negative Man to protect his own life, it would have a very ugly result for Gnaark. Plus, he had a feeling that Negative Man made all of these jokes to reassure himself; that if he didn't say all of these jokes, his own worries would take over and drive him crazy from the constant fretting. Maybe that wasn't the reason, and maybe he really was just a jackass, but then again, there was always a chance that all of this wisecracking had its own good reason, despite how it irritated Kole. Gnaark knew that some people did that, and he didn't want to get himself hurt over it, get Negative Man in serious trouble if he didn't deserve it, or leave Kole without himself to protect her. So, he resolved to not lash out, to not become violent, and to not attack anyone or anything until Kole had designated who, when, and where was right. That was usually the best thing to do in this kind of situation. Gnaark would let Kole decide how they'd handle this situation together. Kole always knew what to do.

Meanwhile, it occurred to Larry that maybe, _just_ maybe, it would be best to cool it with the sarcasm for the time being. Admittedly, these two kids had a lot to put up, with being partnered up with him. Few folks outside of the Doom Patrol had the desire nor the capability to put up with Negative Man's snark and passive-agressiveness without snapping and attacking him; and that was just thinking of_ adults_, let alone teenagers like this, who were the ones who had the excuse of emotions running high and inexperience to be cracking jokes like he had been. Larry Trainor was just kind of prickish like that, and didn't have a particular excuse for this one-sided banter other than the freakish state of his body and the constant dangers of his powers. Plus, he knew that he could never use his powers, because then, he'd be up to his neck in shit that Mento could not and would not get Negative Man out of. So, he decided to put a stop to the little running commentary before he pushed his luck with these kids a step too far. Larry had a team of his own that worried after him, worried for him when he sometimes really didn't deserve their attention, and this wasn't making a good impression of the Doom Patrol for a younger generation of crime fighters. For a time after these thoughts crossed his mind, he said nothing, simply walking in silence with Kole and Gnaark. And what an awkward silence it was.

It took a while before anything was said, but eventually, each of the trio decided in their own mind that it was time to re-focus on the mission "Alright," Negative Man finally sighed, cracking his knuckles although he couldn't fully appreciate the sensation for various reasons, "We need a plan. Monsieur Mallah isn't just going to welcome us into whatever kind of fortress he has with open arms and an apple pie baked for us. Though I wouldn't be surprised at all if the Brain taught him to bake. Feh." He took out his binoculars, looking ahead. No one approaching yet. Good. "I don't want you kids to get hurt, and we only need to find out what his plan is. Once we get within range, I'll start disabling whatever security he might have. When I tell you kids it's safe, start to take out any personnel we encounter. If I'm not right after you, I'll be fine, just getting psyched back up after using my power. Are we in agreement?" He looked over at the two while walking.

Gnaark just looked down towards Kole. Good. Negative Man didn't feel like trying to communicate with Captain Caveman right then. So, Kole just stroked her chin and thought for a few moments. Negative Man had noticed during this mission that the girl was awfully cute when she was so deep in thought. Not cute as in attractive, but cute in the way that Garfield always was: Trying to be so serious when either one's face, size, either one's _everything_ could barely be taken seriously. At last, she spoke. "Your plan sounds like it would work," she said evenly, professionally, "But I don't think we should place you in danger like that. If we head in while you're recovering, the enemy would likely know to go after you. Especially since their leader is Monsieur Mallah, they're probably ready for any member of the Doom Patrol to come their way.

"The ape's going to expect you to use your powers to disable security," she continued. "If we're going to go with your plan, you're not getting left behind. Even if the enemy comes to us first, at least you won't be out in the open where a hidden scout or something can pick you off." Finished, she waited to see what Negative Man would say. To be frank, Larry was completely stunned at that. He knew that Kole had been learning tactics to help herself and Gnaark, but he hadn't known that she'd gotten _good_ at it. Even if her plan seemed flawed in its idealistic focus on protecting the whole team, Negative Man had to admit, Elasti-Girl would probably make the exact same case about putting himself in danger in this situation. Realizing that he'd been paused for a long time, Larry noted that this was turning awkward again.

He said flatly, "That's actually a good idea. I _do_ prefer a strategy where there's _less_ chance of gorillas trampling me and rupturing my organs. We'll go with your plan." He started to turn and keep walking, but something kept him from doing so. Negative Man turned back fully to look at Kole. At her curious gaze, Larry said plainly, "Thanks for, y'know, watching my back with your plan, I guess." Turning, he started walking again.

A little shocked at that, Kole turned to look up at Gnaark. Meeting her gaze, Gnaark soon just gave a little smile and snorted in approval. Nodding with her own smile, Kole picked up the pace and was followed by her lumbering friend.

She cheerfully said, "You're very welcome, Mr. Trainor." Negative Man didn't reply to that.

Kole didn't really mind, though.


	3. Chapter Three: Snow, Middle Part 2

Across the Antarctic desert, the trio still treaded. Negative Man preoccupied himself with listening to his feet crunching on the icy, parched Earth, so that he wouldn't be tempted to start up his commentary again. God forbid he make a little girl who could turn into a crystal club and her towering caveman buddy mad at him. Truth be told, Larry was relieved that the tension had somewhat broken between himself, Kole, and Gnarrk. It left a bad taste in his mouth to be instigating among kids. Beside, he had to save his snark, his secret weapon, for the battle against Monsieur Mallah. The big ape always hated when Negative Man's wisecracking started up in the middle of battle. So did the Brain, and Madame Rouge, well, pretty much the entire Brotherhood of Evil. Larry was convinced that a big part of the success of the Doom Patrol lie in how pissed off the Brotherhood got at his snark.

Meanwhile, Kole and Gnarrk were satisfied that Negative Man's sarcastic diatribe had finally come to a stop. He was a powerful ally, he had utterly invaluable experience battling the Brotherhood of Evil, but good _God_ he was so cynical it hurt. Secretly, Kole wondered how Beast Boy had ever put up with him, and how any of the Doom Patrol could have been surprised that he left them. Between Negative Man's chronic snark and Mento's overbearing nature, it was a wonder that Elasti-Girl and Robotman could put up with the two. But, she kept these thoughts to herself. It just wasn't right to think such things about allies in the war on evil, she had to admit. Any ally was worth keeping, and other than how Kole hated being pointlessly rude or unpleasant, her time studying strategy had impressed upon her that it just wasn't smart to push a comrade away. Especially in a combat situation such as this, to drive a schism between herself, Gnarrk, and the _de facto_ team leader would be both unbecomingly childish and plain stupid in the long run. For now, Negative Man was bearable. That was really what counted, and Kole secretly hoped that she could make a friend in him. Despite how irritating he could be, Negative Man did have some genuinely gut-busting jokes.

Gnarrk, on the other hand, was focused on how at peace Kole had become. For the first time in a long time of their mission, she wasn't glaring daggers into Negative Man's back or muttering under her breath, or turning to speak to Gnarrk as soon as Negative Man turned to say anything at all. It seemed that the tension between his best friend and the unofficial leader of their brief trio had finally dissolved. This made Gnarrk happy. Seeing Kole not upset was what he had been hoping for ever since, going on two hours ago, she and Negative Man had first struck friction against each other. Most of Negative Man's jokes still went over Gnarrk's head, but Gnarrk still laughed at a small number of funny comments he got, and he had decided that Negative Man was alright. If they could get through this mission without any more conflict between Kole and Negative Man, Gnarrk would be all too happy. Truth be told, he didn't like seeing his friends fighting with each other. Kole was the best friend he had, and he roughly considered Negative Man a new friend, so he was glad that the two of them were finally getting along better.

Meanwhile, Negative Man looked around at their current location. Coming to a stop, a hand was raised to signal Kole and Gnarrk to do the same. "I get a feeling," he said quietly, "That our plan might have to be thrown out the window." All of them fell silent. The wind howled and screamed, and nothing else could be heard. But in the most minute lull in the wind, the ground could hear a single sound from behind and to the left: The ground crunching beneath _some_thing's feet. In an instant, Negative Man's duplicate shot out of him, leaving his body to slump to his knees behind. Darting to the exact spot the sound had come from, a machine flickered into view. Shuddering and crackling, it exploded soon after. The Negative Spirit continued to dart about, causing two more machines to appear briefly before exploding. Soon returning to his body, he panted. "Watch the ground," Larry shouted, "You can just barely see their footprints!" Kole had already turned into crystal for Gnarrk to lift her.

Spotting the faintest of footprints, like Negative Man had said, and faintly hearing a hum over the wind, Gnarrk lowered Kole before himself. Just in time, as a beam of energy was shot towards him. Reflected straight back, the laser caused two robots to appear - One with a smoking hole straight through its chest, the other with one arm falling off. The first toppled, while the other raised its intact arm to fire off a round. Gnarrk reflected the beam off to the side with Kole once again, having spotted another pair of footprints. As a robot fell to the ground, Gnarrk charged and bashed the machine that had last shot to the ground in one hit. It was then that he heard several crashes behind him. He turned to look.

There before him, Negative Man panted, resting on one knee. Behind him was the debris of four or five destroyed robots, smoking in a huge heap. Shakily rising to his feet, Negative Man tried to fully right himself. Despite his best efforts, he blacked out for a second. When he woke up, he found Gnarrk laying him gently to sit up against a rock, with Kole looking him over worriedly. "Be careful," Larry forced out, "If you move one bandage, you and your friend...Could be in...Serious...Shit..." He groaned, laying his head back again. All of his strength had left him. Thankfully, he had made it back to his body with time to spare after the last attack, but he had been forced to attack three times, not including the first.

It was like everything was spinning out of control. He felt like he was sinking deep in the ocean and being tossed all around a tornado at the same time. Every time he tried to get up, he simply couldn't right himself, and would fall straight back. Soon enough, he gladly welcomed the embrace of even partial unconsciousness. Periodically, his mind would buoy back up to awareness, only to rapidly sink down again. One time, early on, he could feel some kind of bottle being pressed past the mouth-slit in his mask. He couldn't do a thing.

... ... ...

What felt like several hours later, Larry could feel himself coming to. Still a bit feverish, he glanced around himself. Off to the side were Kole and Gnarrk - The latter protectively cradling the former in his arms. This would be such a precious sight, if Negative Man didn't feel like someone had dumped an entire chemistry set in his head. Lights were sparkling at the edge of his vision, and he felt like if he even tried to stand up, his head would explode.

But he was alive. Off to his side, he saw an amber-colored bottle. He didn't need to read it to know what it was. It was a medicine that Mento had first gotten ahold of years ago, for when Negative Man was in serious danger from overexerting his powers. That had started becoming more and more frequent. _Always looking out for me,_ Negative Man thought to himself tiredly. Larry tried to pull one leaden arm up, but his muscles simply didn't have the strength left in them. As much as he hated the thought of being in this situation so close to enemy territory, there was nothing else for it.

Knowing very well what awaited him, Negative Man let himself fall asleep. He was met by bizarre nightmares and images like a bad acid trip. Sometimes, he wanted to scream, but kept reminding himself that he was just dreaming. Larry kept his head on during the whole ordeal, until he finally slipped into darkness. No thoughts, no emotions.

By the time he woke up, Kole and Gnarrk were looking him over, clearly worried. Stretching languidly, Negative Man was happy to find that his limbs now responded to his mind.

"Good morning," he said tiredly. "We having eggs and bacon or pancakes?"

Kole sighed in relief, while Gnarrk quirked an eyebrow, confused.


	4. Chapter Four: Snow, Last Part

Before too long, Negative Man, Kole, and Gnarrk were nearing where the apparent base was. They could tell because several frozen gorilla skeletons lie strewn about. It looked like a few of Mallah's soldiers hadn't made it during the relocation to the Antarctic base. _Fine by me_, Larry thought to himself. _The less of these smelly apes we have to fight, the better._ He really, really hated Mallah's goons. It really just kind of pissed him off that some of the Doom Patrol's most dangerous enemies sometimes got imprisoned in zoo cages instead of jail cells. At least it wasn't as annoying as anything at all the Brain said. He had been so pompous and wordy that he belonged frozen, if only to shut up him forever.

In time, the group could spot the base up ahead. It was squat and militaristic, and surrounded by laser turrets. A huge, mechanical door of plated steel blocked any easy way in. Ducking behind boulders once again, the trio waited to make sure they hadn't been spotted. Negative Man looked over to Kole and Gnarrk to see whether they were ready. Seeing them both nod, he prepared himself. _Three...Two...One._ He was off. In his first sweep, half of the turrets were detonated without issue. Returning to his body as quick as he could, he found to his relief that he wasn't nearly as exhausted as a few hours prior. Out shot his Negative Spirit again, taking out the rest of the turrets and disabling the door's locking mechanism. Returning to his body, Larry waited to make sure he was fully recovered. In her crystal form, Kole had been lifted by Gnarrk, and the two were ready for the enemy.

The strangest thing was, not a sound could be heard. Peeking around the boulder, Negative Man saw that there was no sign at all of the enemy. Cautiously standing up, followed by Gnarrk in this gesture, Larry waited for shots to be fired, or for gorillas in jet packs with flamethrowers or something _wonderful_ like that to come their way. Nothing. However, Negative Man knew better than to head in on his own. He motioned for Gnarrk to move back, and picked up a large chunk of frozen rock. Hauling off, he threw it clear past the base's front doors and into the shadowy confines.

Pandemonium broke out. Flames shot out of the door for several meters, so hot that even from a safe distance away, Negative Man could feel the heat rippling across the gauze bandages over his face. Another explosion soon followed, then another, until the entire base was soon nothing more than a heap of rubble. For a long time, no one moved to investigate. Then, Larry took the risk and sent out his Negative Spirit a couple of times to look the rubble over. No bodies. No computers flickering from operation. No burnt papers.

"Shit," he breathed as soon as he returned to his body from the second go-around. "Mallah took all of his info and ran. He must have saved a teleporter from the Brain or something. Whatever he was planning, now there's no way of telling what it was." Then, he could hear it. The whirring noise behind him, rubble being shoved aside, metal joints clacking. "Shit, again." He turned around, to see what was rising from the rubble.

It was a huge, blocky machine, with a long rifle for one hand and a massive claw for the other. On the chest its headless torso was a huge monitor screen, flickering with red static. It soon came to rest on a skull design, superimposed in red over a black background. The exact same skull as the Brain's transporter. Without a word, Negative Man's duplicate shot out, looped through the machine twice, then returned to his body.

The automaton shuddered, but rose up again. Levelling its cannon arm with Negative Man's motionless form, it started charging up a huge blast. With a mighty scream of heat and light, it was fired towards Larry. But somehow, he knew he didn't have anything to fear. He was right. In an instant, Gnarrk was stood before him with Kole at the ready. He swung the crystallized girl like a baseball bat, nailing the energy blast square in its center.

When the dust settled, the screen on the robot's chest had been blown to pieces, and smoke was billowing out of its prone form. It wasn't long before Negative Man was able to get back to his feet and investigate closer.

Whatever the thing was, it wasn't anything like the Brain's creations. The previous robots had matched his usual designs, but this was clearly someone else's work. Knowing better than to look too closely at the machine, Negative Man headed back to Kole and Gnarrk with a shrug.

By the time a transport had arrived to pick up the trio, the machine was frozen solid. It, too, was picked up for examination.

Larry just had a really, _really_ bad feeling about this.


	5. Chapter Five: Kicked Around

Laying sprawled on the couch, Negative Man watched the TV. Not even turned on. He just watched the blank, dark gray screen silently. Massive, squared, it was silhouetted by the pale light of the most early sunrise. The table was covered with chip crumbs and spare handtools. Negative Man hadn't touched them, however. He was a model, upright superhero who never meddled with the things of other teams. No, he would never dream of touching the things of the core Teen Titans. Larry Trainor just wasn't that kind of guy.

Okay, so that was a load of bullshit. Oddly enough, for once, he hadn't been the one to make the mess. Back at the Doom Patrol, Mento was always riding him to be more neat, while Elasti-Girl would pull a guilt trip like only a mother could. This was one reason he liked hanging out at the Jump City T-Tower. Most of these kids understood how a little mess made a place look lived-in and cozy. There was their leader, of course, who had a stick up his ass that rivalled even Mento; and of course, the gloomy sorceress whose posterior Negative Man could not keep his eyes off for some reason. Larry felt more guilty than he normally would over it, considering how she and Garfield clearly belonged together. Anywho, Robin and Raven were alright, all the same.

A sigh broke out above Negative Man. "Do I even _want_ to know what the most irritating _current_ member of the Doom Patrol is doing here?" Speak of the devil. Turning his head to look up and taking the opportunity to crack a kink out of his neck, Larry gazed up at the expressionless indigo orbs glaring down at him. That pale gray face was mostly devoid of any readable emotion, but her ashen lips were pulled farther down than usual, past a slight frown and into a dark scowl. Right. Raven kind of didn't like him. It was odd that the two cynical, snarky members of the separate teams would be rather at odds with each other. Opposites attracted in the end, though - Exactly why Raven and Garfield would be all too perfect for each other. Scratching at his head through the layers of gauze on his fingers and scalp, Negative Man just stared up at her. Raven's steely gaze met the empty slits of his face-wrappings evenly.

"Welllll," Larry droned, "I kind of got kicked out of the Doom Patrol base. Something about being too lazy and needing to see what it was like without the rest of the team watching my back. So, I decided to crash here." He gazed over at the TV. "You know where the remote is? There should be some infomercials on right about now. Those things are fun." Negative Man didn't expect any verbal response at all, so he wasn't surprised when Raven strolled away. He was, however, surprised when the couch started to levitate into the air. In one fell swoop, the couch tilted back and sent Larry crashing to land before Raven's feet. Arms crossed, she just glared down at him. "Okay," he said lamely, "Ouch." Sitting upright, he rubbed tiredly at his head. Negative Man really didn't deserve this kind of treatment. Well, yeah, he did sometimes, but he felt that right now probably wasn't one of those times.

Raven just pointed towards the elevator. "Out." She waited for Larry to respond. When he didn't say anything right away, her eyes flashed to glow white. "As in, _out __**now.**_" Various objects could be heard rattling on shelves nearby. With a sigh, Negative Man got to his feet and headed to the elevator. He _was_ going to stand there and hope Raven would take pity on him and let him stay. Then, one of her signature fields of black energy enclosed the operation panel and caused the doors to open.

Another, heavier sigh, and Negative Man was in the elevator. It quickly closed behind him and began to descend. Before long, he was standing outside on the island that supported the T-Tower. Strolling over to sit on the rocky coast, he lifted stones and began to skip them across the surface of the waves.

For several minutes, he did this. Eventually, he just stopped and stared out at the sunrise peeking further and further over the horizon.

"...The _fuck_ just happened to me in there?"


End file.
